CAKE!!!SANDWICH!

...because no one asked...

Hot Chocolate.

Hot Chocolate is a few doors down from my place of employment and this is the second time I have dined there. James Beard nominated, reputation, blah blah blah. This is where I go to hold my awkward social meet-ups. The first time I went was on an "online" first date with a fella who didn't give two shits about food. No thanks, brother. And nice soul patch or whatever...sheesh.

Today I went with a friend with whom I have not seen or spoken with in literally over a decade. Oddly enough, the day I found him on Facebook was the same day he was flying to Chicago for a week. We used to go to after-hours goth night together when I was still a smarmy, know-it-all teen in 20-eye boots and half red and black hair. He was the "old guy Melanie used to hang out with," at least according to my parents. The weird thing is that I am older today at 29 than he was then. Who's creepy now, Dad?!?
I guess the dinner wasn't awkward so much as daunting. How do you catch up on a decade's worth of hard livin' in the span of a three course meal? Especially with the decade I've had. People throw the words gnarly, irresponsible and surreal around, but they don't even begin to scratch the surface of my 20's. The point is, do you reminisce about the past or discuss the present? Considering the hellion I was ten years ago, is living a boring, 40+ hour work week life depressing, or impressive? In the end, we are still both overworked coffee slaves in one way or another, and seemed to both take comfort in that constant.

But fuck it, let's talk about the food. I forgot to take pictures, so just take my word for it- the food was as pleasing to the eye as it was for my big fat mouth. I started with the mussels, which came in a thin but creamy sauce made with shallots, bacon, green onion, PBR and cream. It came with two, almost frightening spears of toasted, butter-brushed french bread. A smaller, less ravenous gal could make an entree of it! The real fun came after all the mussels and their shells had been cleared out and I trawled the bottom of the bowl for the chunky nuggets of bacon hidden in the cream. If it wasn't for the brininess from the mussels, the sauce could serve as a soup all its own! My long lost friend ordered the shrimp and grits and loved it so much I could only steal a quick bite. It was a nice contrast to the brightness of the mussels and I believe it was due to the sweet, red wine sauce.

Entrees arrived and my homie conservatively ordered the mac and cheese. Kind of a disappointment. The "cheese" part was a bit too runny and was lacking the sharpness I would have expected for a place serving this dish to adults. It wasn't bad- definitely very rich. But it lacked zing or zazz or charisma. My duck dish, however, was excellent. I hate to say it, but I think I will order my duck medium next time, as opposed to medium rare. I just don't care for it so underdone as it isn't quite the same as enjoying a rare steak. Despite that, the sear on the skin was salty and amazing and the sides were almost an entree themselves. There was a rectangle of something I forgot the name of...kind of like a polenta, but more custard-y and made from chick pea flour. There were green and white green beans with oyster mushrooms (tasty!) tossed with shredded leg meat from the duck. Needless to say, I inhaled this dish with what can only be described as a laser-like focus.

I want to take a brief moment to acknowledge the attentive busser we were assigned. More and more (especially in finer dining) these guys are over-worked and under-appreciated. We saw him more than we did our server and he was hawk-like in not just clearing our table, but also wiping it down and resetting out silverware.

We ordered dessert. I had an eponymous hot chocolate- the "Black and Tan"- made of medium intensity hot chocolate and one third hot fudge. I could have done without the fudge, in retrospect. It was a bit over salted. But the marshmallow and hot chocolate were both rich, sweet and dreeeeeamy!

Thinking on it more, Hot Chocolate, as well as a handful of other fine establishments (looking at you, Lula!), is a great place to go when you have no idea what to expect when meeting someone for the first time. Or the first time in over a decade. The food will give you something to talk about, and apart from polite "what have you been up to's," that is pretty much what we did.

Hot Dog Waiting Room

Let me begin by apologizing for the months long blog neglect. I've been busy. Since we last spoke, I have moved into a quieter neighborhood and an apartment that is better in every aspect than the last. I finally have a job that I not only don't hate, but the pay is decent. This has nothing to do with food, but I just want you to know I'm doing aaaaight.

This week I was entertaining company at my vast estate and sussed out only the worthiest of dining establishments to patronize. This is our trip to Hot Doug's. (photo clockwise from cheese fries: foie gras dog, curry pork dog, three-chili wild boar dog, corn dog)

The first thing you have to accept about going to Hot Doug's is the line. It is literally out the door and around the windward side of the building. Even though the sun was shining, people were still shivering and lamenting the cold. A baby was crying. Yet teary eyes and red dappled skin be damned, everyone stood outside in line for roughly an hour to get their stiff fingers and gross blue lips around what is considered some of the best sausage in the country. We were no exception, other than that I had the foresight to bring a warm hat.

Once at the register we were greeted by local sausage celebrity and foie gras freedom fighter, Mr. Hot Doug Sohn himself. We placed our order, filled our soda cups and chose a table out of view of the salivating animals still waiting in line. The food came out quickly.

I ordered two dogs from the Daily Specials menu- Foie gras and Sauternes duck sausage with truffle aoli, foie gras mousse and sea saltand a curry pork sausage with white coconut cheese and madras spices. My fried got the corn dog and a three-chili wild boar sausage with chili garlic cheddar spread and crispy fried onions.

Here's my deep, dark food confession- I was so excited to finally get my greasy, shaking mitts on these gourmet dogs that I had somewhat of a "food blackout" where I know I ate and thoroughly enjoyed the food, but can't quite remember the acute details outside of my visceral emotion.

The curry dog (left) was an exotic delight. I was afraid that the nature of a pork sausage (spicy and salty) might overwhelm the curry flavor. But while it was indeed salty and peppery on the tongue, the curry came through strongly enough in the nose and aftertaste and was backed up by the spiced spread. The saltiness of the sausage was tempered nicely by the mellow, unmelted cheese. I wish I remembered what it was called!

The foie gras dog was unlike anything I have ever eaten. I am ashamed to admit that I cannot recall the exact details of the sausage because I was so preoccupied with crafting the "perfect bite" ratio of the rich truffle aoli, thick coins of fresh foie gras, duck sausage, and bun. The mushroomy earthiness of the truffles and richness of the foie gras were a great counterbalance to the savory sausage and sea salt (which really unlocked the awesome power of foie!) The bun played the straight man to all the insanity contained within.


I only had a single bite of the wild boar dog, but it was, of course, amazing. It was leaner than the sausages I had ordered and the bitter spiciness of the chilies was welcome change. I particularly enjoyed crispiness of the onions a the kick of spice it had going down.

I have lived in Chicago for one year, one month and three days, and I can finally say I have eaten at Hot Doug's (though committing to the line really validated the experience). I regret not trying the Chicago Dog, but at the same time, it would probably have created a standard by which I could never enjoy another street corner hot dog ever again. I couldn't live like that.

Hey!

We've done some serious eating this week AND remembered to take pictures. Foie Gras hot dog, two kinds of wild boar, a deconstructed "Brains Reuben," and much much more! Coming soon!

Here we go again!

We got a little ambitious with the last Ethno-Food Bucket. Apparently, people do not like choices, and our five item menu was absolutely mystifying to many. ("An enchilada...with pineapple...?") Fuck you, we're keeping the enchiladas. We sold only three of our items last time- the fried rice, my weird potato experiment (red potatoes, onions, black pepper, topped with a ton of cheese and some bacon strips) and Mom's curry. No one wanted the sesame peanut noodles, but that could be because they are served cold, and maybe the kids read my mind when I was realizing I had forgotten the lime juice and the noodles tasted like peanut butter. I put the hard sell on the enchiladas to those who had them last time. What's up with people hating on hot 'n savory pineapple? SOMEONE TELL ME! Long story short, we aaaaaalmost made back our expenses and tried to roll it over into a fun and romantic date. That also did not go as planned.


Having said that, Madame Crispy's Ethno-Food Bucket is back to give the people what they want- a whole lotta fried rice. We're bringing back the enchiladas because they're spicy, cheesy and vegetarian, and goddamn muthafuckin' tasty. New item is Italian comfort food pasta aglio e olio, something I could eat everyday. The popular curry will not be returning due to the difficulty keeping it hot without the veggies turning into mush. I think three bucks is not too much to ask, and we are keeping a keen eye on our budget.

I have a great time working this thang, but I think we work too hard to not make a few extra bucks. Come to the show...bring a friend...come hungry!

To the woman blocking my reach at the mini-mart...

Who cares if it's a whole grain pretzel? It's a bag of fucking Combos!

Selling food for money...the sequel!

Madame Crispy's Ethno-Food Bucket is back, Saturday, Dec. 11th!. As previously mentioned, my boyfriend's house plays host to a number of punk, hardcore and "other" bands that attract the young 'uns and old dudes alike. It's a captive audience and I want to feed them in exchange for money. Our first attempt went surprisingly well. Now, we have learned from our mistakes (frying tortilla chips to order on an electric stove DOES NOT WORK!) and our successes (drunk people order a lot of food AND if you put out a Halloween pumpkin with a few bucks in it at a show, other people will just put money in it). The cooking process has been streamlined and costs cut. We realized the two most important factors of our previous success- it was cheap, and at the end of the night, drunks want what we have started calling "shovelin' food" Just something hot and zesty they can spoon into their mostly vegetarian food slots.

The menu will be as follows, keeping in mind there is a large vegan/veg crowd at this event.
*Fried Rice: It was a hit last time. We're going with peas, peppers, onion, and egg (optional), sauteed in a bit of sesame oil with rice and soy sauce. We're skipping the ground beef for cost and because most people passed on it last time
*Breakfast tacos: Two for $3. One scrambled egg per taco, with shredded cheddar and choice of salsa, sriracha, or HOT Korean bean paste. Ian will be making vegan "eggs" using tofu and magic.
*Vegetable Curry with Rice: Potato, zucchini, spinach, onion and cauliflower simmered in curry, spooned over some rice. Three bucks.
*Country Potatoes for Drunks and Fatties: Red potatoes, kinda smushed and pan fried with onions and a whole lotta pepper. Smother with ranch, cheese and Bacos. Yes, Bacos.

In addition to the limitations of cost, we are working on an electric stove, so we're trying to have foods that can cook or be heated up very quickly as most of the time is spent trying to get the pan hot enough. I am told that it will most likely be snowing by this time (I'm having a hard time accepting it...mind blown) and between the food smells, alcohol, and people having to hang out inside the house, we should be very busy. If anyone knows of more cheap, easy to cook (quickly, on the spot) foods, let me know!