Hollywood Diner

I need to change the name of this blog to fuckyeahmontecristosandwiches because it's all I'm ever eating for the rest of my life. I was on my way home from a job interview (it went well, thanks) and Hollywood Diner was right in front of where I needed to change buses. I've been really into eating at diners of late, mostly because the waitresses call me nice names, like "dolly" or "sweetheart." Also, because it's like eating at Denny's, without having to lie about having just eaten a a Denny's. (Side note- Did you know that Denny's has a late-night menu that blatantly targets the stoned and inebriated, and that they have live rock music at select locations? Now you do. Get the Superbird).

Anyhoo, I was greeted by a guy who had to be the owner (neither working nor wearing a uniform tee) who pointed me to a booth and shout-asked from behind the counter if I wanted coffee. No thank you, it's hot out. The waitress came to take my order after I repeatedly slammed my menu shut to get her attention. "Ready to order, Dear?" she asked, in perfect grizzled diner waitress elocution, which I found pleasantly in-congruent with her severe chola hair and makeup combo. I ordered the Monte Cristo Deluxe (served with a cup of soup, crinkle fries, micro-cup of coleslaw, and pickle chips).

The soup. I had a choice of cream of chicken and rice, chili, or vegetable. I chose veggie, if you can believe it, and it was amazing. Little pasta rings (think Spaghetti-O's, but bigger), chunks of potato, carrots, corn, green pepper, green chili, and celery in a thick, flavorful tomato soup. Bonus points for shelling out for name-brand crackers. The generic Saltines never get the salt quite right....

Just as I took my last slurp of soup, my sandwich arrived. It was too hot to pick up, so I tried the fries and slaw first. Nothing special there. The crinkle-cut fries were hot and fresh (like my rhymes, guys) but pretty unexceptional. Could have been crispier, and I will say the same for my sandwich. But really, that would be my only complaint.

The sandwich is simple. Thick-sliced ham, melted swiss, grilled betwixt two slices of french toast. Now, I know there are different and much better Monte Cristos out there, but having been a virgin to this sandwich, it was the best I ever had. Thus, I'm afraid any critique would be baseless, though really, my only complaint was that the french toast slices weren't grilled or buttery enough, and were pretty soggy. (I will give them the benefit of the doubt, since I was wearing a Business Suit, and maybe they thought I had somewhere important to be (not so) and decided to expedite the cooking process.) Despite being a true lover of bacon, I always said that ham was too salty for my taste. In this context though, you want a salty ham, with salty swiss, because when you stuff 'em into some sweet, sweet french toast, the contrast is just amazingly pleasurable. I don't think I need to extol the virtues of the sweet/savory dynamic to you, dear friends. Like a good chocolate covered pretzel, spicy mango salsa, or caramel Bugles.
The Monte Cristo Deluxe gets an 8/10 Elvis-style hip-thrusts, plus a bonus wiggle for the great service and the fact that I can walk there if I'm feeling particularly motivated.

Side note- the picture above is my take-home box, so it's not as melty as it was when served. click to see the ham better!